


It will be fine and dandy up there.

by fallingforcas



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Death, Drinking, Feels, Homophobic Language, M/M, SO MANY FUCKING FEELS, Sadness, Shooting, The wedding, Violence, cry cry cry, heavy drunk, i did warn, i kind of thought of this, ian doesn't know how good his is, im so so sorry, insercure, its the wedding episode-a alternative ending, this episode still makes me cry ok, this morning when i cried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 17:31:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2159124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingforcas/pseuds/fallingforcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Besides the feels of the fucking episode --- alternative ending to it</p><p>It is the party after Svetlana's and Mickey's wedding. Ian is most likely drinking himself to death,instead of going to the army he wants to run away. In the process he ends up getting shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It will be fine and dandy up there.

The alcohol was now buried deep and absorbed into his brain by now,the bottle he had picked up just as the ceremony started was now polished off. The whole after-wedding party was going by like a blur,people were grinding against each other (usual southside selves),people were drinking themselves to death..the usual southside friday night was packed into the wedding shambles. 

As Ian leaned clumsy at the bar,a full bottle of Jacks resting in his palm;trying to get rid of the memories of him and Mickey. Trying to forget the moment they had shared just before he married the whore. That kiss felt like Mickey was going to go with him,run away with him...but like usual Ian was always hoping for something he could never have. All his life he stayed smiling pretending that everything was okay,even though there was a hole in his heart he had to hope that one day it would heal. 

Watching the whole 'I do' shit,and seeing Terry give him that evil grin that told Ian he had lost Mickey completely. Ian was never the one to give up,nothing would scare him off not even that dick Terry;see the problem with Ian is that he didn't know or see how much he was worth,he didn't see how much he kept everyone together...how if he left everything would fall apart. 

Ian felt like he had lost Mickey completely,Terry had taken him and would never give back..or let a way in to try to. Ian felt like he was grieving. Grief is like the ocean,its deep and its dark,and if you get too deep you won't be able to get out. He had lost the love of his life,and there was no chance he could pass Terry,he didn't even know how Mickey felt never mind acting upon that...so how long could he wait? He couldn't sit there and watch as everyone moved on with their lives and he would be just stuck there. So drinking his shit tasting bottle of Jacks he made a decision. 

He had to leave. That was the only way,the only way for him to actually get out. There was no one in the house so it was a quick and easy,dash in and run out routine. There was no time to explain to them all,they would end up begging him to stay and their tearing eyes would stop him. Lip would fuck him up so there was no way of telling him even though there had been many times Lip had abandoned them. Obviously Ian thought none of them would notice he would be going,he didn't understand how much they needed him. All of that crossed his mind. 

With a nudge from a drunken old shit Ian hit back to reality. The bottle was still lingering in his hands,and his body was now swaying with numbness. Mandy was copping off with some black guy in the back of the hall;Lip was probably eyeing them up from his own corner,but Ian's eyes were too gone and too blurry to see more. Looking for any escape route that wouldn't be seen by either of the two,he stumbled through the slurring crowd to the side door. Kev called after him,but everything was rattling in his brain it didn't give him chance to even work out what he said. 

The cold air hit him like daggers,he hadn't even noticed that his coat was dangling half way down his back. With no attempt of pulling it up he continued on his journey to grab his shit and leave. Somehow his gulps of alcohol were getting bigger,nearly half of the bottle was gone...he blamed it on his strong feelings of longing and upset over loosing the only person he wanted to be with. 

The road was like a obstacle course;drunks sprawled along the path,bottles of fuck knows what rolling around in the wind,not to forget the wind was pushing on him like a bitch. Ian's head was pounding but the pain found relief in the dose of Jacks he held in his hand. People always said that alcohol was the cure to all your problems,and Ian never believed in that till now...except the fact he still couldn't get Mickey off his mind. He didn't want mickey to be left on his own,but he had tried and tried to make it clear that he wanted to be with the older boy,but it was never enough. Mickey would always be scared of his dad,he would always do what he said in pure fear. Ian was just some little shit who made it harder for him....but that didn't change that he loved him. 

'Oi you pole-smokin' fuckin' queer!' the voice was familiar,but not a happy familiar ; the type you would want to crawl into a pit and die. Well by the sound of the grunting voice behind him,it was a possibility that he would die. As he turned to face the creature which held the name of Terry Milkovich,a long bang echoed through the air;a couple of heads turned in interest but Ian's eyes locked to Terry's. 

Terry stood a wide gleaming smile spread across his face,in his head he held his gun. The dirt was painting his skin like it always did,the fuckin' alcoholic druggie. Ian was too drunk and too shocked in the moment to even try to say what type of gun it was. All he could feel was a sharp pain piercing his gut;A pain more worse than what he felt in his heart. In training they always taught how to control yourself in this situation...but they never taught you how to when you are intoxicated in alcohol and heart break. Ian dropped to the floor,the bottle in his hand crashing under him. 

His whole body felt limp,like he had no weight at all. A cold feeling poured down his stomach,looking down he saw red. only red. Clutching his stomach Ian yelped in pain,there was a sort numbness to alcohol but this was unbearable. Terry ran a couple of his wannabe-boys after him,all laughing like it was some comedy right infront of their eyes. 

Ian turned to face the sky,the pain pouring out through his bones. Every second he would scream out with pain and try to hold in as much blood as possible ; no luck,all the drunks were too passed out to notice and would they fuck help a gay guy out at night. 

'fuuuuuck.; Ian whimpered as he tried to shout help but his voice constricted him. There was no point,he knew the bullet at penetrated his main organs and blood had already made its way out quickly. There was no way that a ambulance could get there in time to control the amount of blood loss. Ian always learned in training to stay calm;take deep breaths,clutch the wound with pressure to stop the blood flow. All of this was jack shit. 

The total opposite to what he was taught,Ian was swimming in a puddle of blood mixed with Jack Daniels. He was not calm,he was screaming for help with words that didn't make sense and his palm was falling weak from the blood loss,so how could he stop any more leaving his body.

Ian cried his tears almost leaving him with the only taste he had,as the salty water reached his lips he rested his head down onto the cold ground. There was no point of struggling,no point of trying to get up. Everything was already shit,there was nothing else for him to loose. His heart beat was raging trying to catch breaths at any point it could get,Ian wanted to tell it to stop and say that it was okay. 

The only thing he regretted was not telling Mickey he loved him,even if the boy didn't want to hear it that's the least he could do before this....he didn't want to leave Mickey. He had always wished they could have a life together,be together until their hearts fell asleep. The world obviously had a different idea,fate was clearly a bitch and hated redheads. 

Ian laughed slightly,recalling all his great memories of his life. The moments with Mickey,the good ol' lets smoke and fuck sessions. The whole Gallagher's and their daily shit which would annoy him,but wouldn't change. He had no idea how Mandy would take this,she was his bestfriend. She had Mickey,and Ian couldn't determine what his reaction would be but he hoped Mickey wouldn't forget him,he hoped that somewhere he loved the redhead too. 

The pain was pumping now,the sharp tinge in his stomach was wearing down. Ian knew it wasn't it was just his body giving up,his hands were cold failing to move along his wound. His breaths started to quicken as he tried to grasp the remaining air supply he had. Ian felt the tears falling into his hair line as he glanced up towards the sky. The stars felt comforting like it was giving Ian a way out from death,he wanted to believe he would go up there once his eyes were closed. But everything he had heard made that not true,his body shook in fear of what was going to happen next. 

Ian had always wanted to look at the stars with Mickey,that was all he wished to do. He wanted the brunette to rest his head along his chest trailing shapes in his skin. For that moment Ian knew he was seeing shit as his body was feeling heavy and his eyes were starting to flutter. He saw Mickey smiling next to him,lying imitating Ian as he took a drag from his cigarette. Ian forced his weak body to smile up,it was a task due to his body failing all at once. 

'Mick...' he voice was quiet and crisp,hardly audio able to anyone to hear. Mickey grinned wildly placing his hands in Ian's,Ian flinched as it almost felt real. 

'Close your eyes Gallagher,It will be fine and dandy up there' Ian felt mickey's breath against his ear,his hands brushing against the older boys. As always Ian would never stop and not do anything for mickey,so he fluttered his eyes shut;hearing as the world slowly faded away. Mickey's hand remained in his and he felt his heart fill up with love,if this had to end he had to have Mickey by his side. Then it turned quiet a white blanket covering his eyes,and that's when he knew. He was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sorry-but i thought about this,this morning and i had to write it. I hate writing death fics im so sorry lul
> 
> i hope its good though i really do


End file.
